How to kick out unwanted guests who don't want to leave? How to kick a guest out of your apartment.

There are times when you do not want guests to stay with you for too long, but you have to accept them as guests. In this case, you feel that you are drawing conflicting conclusions about the guest and come up with a way to kick him out of the sweet home. Here you can read 10 ways to chase away late guests who do not know what to do.

With such a solution to the problem, you can get rid of the guest without unnecessary anger by making a decision to find another place where you can stay. Perhaps at first he will refuse this offer, but the more he stays in your house, the more he will agree with the idea of not causing you inconvenience, staying for such a long time. Plus, he will come to the conclusion that he has stayed at your place for too long. In the end, he will remember that everything is fine in moderation and he should live in his own house. Well, this is a good way!

Okay, why not disturb them? He does the same by staying in your home. Well, grab the closest interlocutor and put everything to him right next to their room. Find something he doesn't like to watch and do so in abundance. He may ask you to stop, but who is he to say something - this is your home! Better than resent yourself, try the idea of resenting others, it will be more fruitful for your health and imagination.

In this regard, the famous character of Arthur Conan Doyle - Sherlock Holmes, might have said: "Elementary!" Stop being the outgoing good guy and start annoying the guest with questions about his moral vision and bad behavior, such as staying away for so long. Make your thinking sharper and stronger.

If you are an elderly person, then clarify your statement of facts so that he does not have any misunderstandings about your hospitality and his weakness gives you an advantage. Of all the tips in this article, this one is the most conflicting and requires tactical thinking, but it really works.

When a child does or does something wrong, his parents then tell him a story as an example so that he understands the difference between right and wrong. For the same reason, past experience and a fictional example about other people can really come to the rescue in order for the guest to begin to understand the situation. An image of a situation in which the guest understands that it is time for him to pack up and leave. It's a great idea to stay polite and at the same time to understand more easily the storm of emotions that are outside you and the guest and it will allow him to understand what the story has to tell him.

Usually, when people are trying to prevent an upcoming conflict, the best idea for resolving it, as opposed to everything, turns out to be organizing a party with the children. Children, with their looks, can melt the heart of an adult and at the same time, no matter how honest it may sound, this is a good way to say such the right thing, how to organize another party and the guest, perhaps, will understand your hint and reason correctly and leave your house. ...

Until you stop hiding behind the rules of good manners, customs and politeness, they will remain your big disadvantage. And if you want to continue to have your piece of the inner world. then, rather than continuing to smile, express your indignation that your guest stays with you longer than decent. This can lead to a scandal, and as a result, the guest will go home.

If none of the above worked, then perhaps the best way out of the situation would be to move away from him and always leave somewhere without informing the guest, or even better - not to invite him to your company. Go somewhere for walks, clubs, dinners and parties without him and the result will be an excellent understanding of the situation. Thus, you will let the guest understand his desire to be free and he admits that he has been staying with you for an unusually long time, and he should move out as soon as possible, while as soon as he realizes this fact, he will leave the house immediately.

Well, if he still stays at your house, then he should adjust to your standards and help clean the house. After all that long time that he has been visiting you, it becomes his duty to maintain the surrounding cleanliness. Let guests wash dirty dishes and point out places where they urgently need to clean up. This may persuade them to finally leave your home.

How to drive a guest away - video

A humorous look at how to get a late guest out of the house:

To do this, you need to connect your friends. Invite them to your place, and then call the guest, and then let your friends talk about such things that he decides to leave the house as soon as possible. Give your friends the opportunity to ask the guest unambiguous, allegorical or incomprehensible questions that he cannot answer. In fact, you cannot attack so openly, but this ability to invite friends and make the guest helpless will probably solve the problem.
9. FIND A NEW PLACE FOR THEM WHERE THEY CAN STAY

With this solution to the problem, you can get rid of the guest without unnecessary anger by deciding to find another place where you can stay. Perhaps at first he will refuse this offer, but the more he stays in your house, the more he will agree with the idea of not causing you inconvenience, staying for such a long time. Plus, he will come to the conclusion that he has stayed at your place for too long. In the end, he will remember that everything is fine in moderation and he should live in his own house. Well, this is a good way!
8. TAKE THEM VERY STRONGLY

Okay, why not disturb them? He does the same by staying in your home. Well, grab the closest interlocutor and put everything to him right next to their room. Find something he doesn't like watching and do so in abundance. He may ask you to stop, but who is he to say something - this is your home! Better than resent yourself, try the idea of resenting others, it will be more fruitful for your health and imagination.
7. BE RUDE AND BORING

In this regard, the famous character of Arthur Conan Doyle - Sherlock Holmes, might have said: "Elementary!" Stop being the outgoing good guy and start annoying the guest with questions about his moral vision and bad behavior, such as staying away for so long. Make your thinking sharper and stronger.
If you are an elderly person, then clarify your statement of facts so that he does not have any misunderstandings about your hospitality and his weakness gives you an advantage. Of all the tips in this article, this one is the most conflicting and requires tactical thinking, but it really works.
6. STOP BEING A HOSPITAL

For many of us, courtesy is a character trait, especially when we need to serve a guest a glass of water or offer a snack. You push yourself to make them more comfortable and make a good impression on them. But if the stay at a party lasts longer than common sense requires, you need to make the guest understand that your home is not a hotel, and you are not its personal servant. When a guest begins to do his job for himself, he may want to return to his home. This advice makes it clearer the fact of excess on the part of the guest, and the guests' problems are solved by them themselves without demonstrating your own negative qualities on your part.
5. BRING THEM AS AN EXAMPLE OF OTHER

When a child does or does something wrong, his parents then tell him a story as an example so that he understands the difference between right and wrong. For the same reason, past experience and a fictional example about other people can really come to the rescue in order for the guest to begin to understand the situation. An image of a situation in which the guest understands that it is time for him to pack up and leave. This is a great idea to stay polite and at the same time to understand more easily the storm of emotions that are outside you and the guest and it will allow him to understand what the story has to tell him.
4. USE THE CHILDREN

Usually, when people are trying to prevent an upcoming conflict, the best idea for resolving it, as opposed to everything, turns out to be organizing a party with the children. Children, with their looks, can melt the heart of an adult and at the same time, no matter how honest it may sound, this is a good way to say such the right thing, how to organize another party and the guest, perhaps, will understand your hint and reason correctly and leave your house. ...
3. STOP HIDING YOUR REAL EMOTIONS AND THOUGHTS

Until you stop hiding behind the rules of good manners, customs and politeness, they will remain your big disadvantage. And if you want to continue to have your piece of the inner world. then, rather than continuing to smile, express your indignation that your guest stays with you longer than decent. This can lead to a scandal, and as a result, the guest will go home.
2. WALK IN CLUBS WITHOUT THEM

If none of the above worked, then perhaps the best way out of the situation would be to move away from him and always leave somewhere without informing the guest, or even better - not to invite him to your company. Go somewhere for walks, clubs, dinners and parties without him and the result will be an excellent understanding of the situation. Thus, you will let the guest understand his desire to be free and he admits that he has been staying with you for an unusually long time, and he should move out as soon as possible, while as soon as he realizes this fact, he will leave the house immediately.
1. MAKE THEM CLEAN AND WASH THE DISHES.

Well, if he still stays at your house, then he should adjust to your standards and help clean the house. After all that long time that he has been visiting you, it becomes his duty to maintain the surrounding cleanliness. Let guests wash dirty dishes and point out places where they urgently need to clean up. This may persuade them to finally leave your home.

Guest etiquette presupposes not only the ability to receive guests, behave correctly at a party, but also the knowledge of how to properly escort over-stuck guests. After all, a late guest is no worse than an uninvited guest. If the guests simply do not understand that it was high time for them to say goodbye, stick to the rules of etiquette in order to properly send them out.

In cafes and restaurants when the establishment is already closing, and some visitors are still sitting, the waiter, in order to correctly indicate that the establishment is already closing, will kindly ask if the guests would like to order something else. For those who are especially dull, after that they will turn off the music, start rattling dishes, clean tables. You can use the same tactics at home. For example, sudden silence, an empty table will make it clear to guests that the evening has come to an end. Finally, say, "Thank you for your visit, we hope you enjoyed it."

Often, oversized guests can ask a rather naive question: “ Didn't we sit for an hour?". The answer will be categorical - "Yes!" But our upbringing does not allow us to respond in this way and we offer some more tea to our guests. In such cases, you can answer with a simple but effective phrase: "Let's just sit for 5 minutes."

If the previous methods did not work for you, you can try this method. If you consider yourself too intelligent and can't just kick your guests out the door, offer to take them home... It doesn't matter how, by car, or on foot. Just gently escort the guest to the nearest stop. Back home, call back and make sure they got to their home safely.

A special category of guests who come earlier and leave later than others... This type of guest is most likely trying to sit longer in order to taste all the goodies and not miss anything important. For such guests, put everything on the table as soon as possible. Placing a cake, cookies and tea at the end of the evening will give a signal to such guests that it is time to leave and nothing new will happen.

For residents of big cities, to which relatives and friends from the villages may come to "stay for a couple of days", but are delayed for weeks and months, you need to immediately establish the scope of what is permissible. If suddenly, there was such a situation that your uncle's second cousin has been visiting you for a month, tell him politely that a crowd of former classmates is coming to you the day after tomorrow. But so that such situations do not arise, when guests arrive, immediately ask up to what date they plan to stay.

A friend who is constantly visiting you without an invitation, for any reason and without - this is good, but there should also be some limits of decency. If you just can't get your friend out of the apartment, show him that you have a love life. Cooperate, kiss, and gradually retreat to the bedroom in front of him. Use as few words as possible and as many kisses as possible. Such a tactic should quickly work for the guest, and a couple of tactics in a row, such a guest will start to wonder whether he can come or not.

If none of the methods worked, you can apply this method against the overseen guests.

The last one to get up from the table cleans up

So it says sea law. Ask for help with cleaning the dishes, the room, and immediately people will appear who suddenly have urgent business. Everyone else will leave after cleaning.

With late guests no need to stand on ceremony... Start checking the report, mail, or pretend that you got an urgent call from work. Show with all your looks that you are very busy.

If you are met on the doorstep uninvited guest, you can send it out instantly. As soon as the doors were opened, immediately put on your shoes and fly out of the house with the words that they are already waiting for you. On an excuse to go with you, make it clear that the meeting is very important. Do not forget the phrase: "It's a pity, not on time!"

According to the rules of etiquette, a visit to guests is carried out in the afternoon until 8 pm. In order to correctly escort the late guests, look closely at the clock, competent people will understand that it is time to leave.

The rules of decency dictate that we be hospitable and kind to other people. However, in life everything happens differently: sometimes even the most hospitable hosts have to drive out unwanted guests. Some do it subtly and courteously, without hurting their self-esteem, others do not stand on ceremony and live in peace. How to politely get rid of a late friend or an unpleasant guest? This is what our article is about.

How will you get there?

No one likes when they are suddenly visited without, so the desire to speed up the departure of uninvited visitors is not a crime. After all, sometimes after a busy day, even cooking dinner does not have the strength.

You may complain about tiredness, feeling unwell, or being in a bad mood. If it's getting close to night, ask how they will get into this darkness. Normal people will take a hint without unnecessary prompts and rush to say goodbye so as not to be late for the last route.

Maybe we can take a walk?

If you are a sensitive person, whose intelligence and good upbringing does not allow you to kick guests out of the house, try to kindly offer to take a walk. For example, to his street. And do not forget, just in case, to make sure that he got there safely and that you are no longer in danger of his company.

Cold welcome

This approach is practiced in relation to visitors, whom it is extremely unpleasant to see, but you do not want to be rude to them and spoil your mood. Usually they are nerds, shameless talkers, energy vampires and idlers who abuse hospitality.

Try to ignore their presence, show your disdain, make them feel like you are not in the house. For example, when they once again start to get bored with silly chatter, you can do the following:

turn on the TV louder;
actively vacuum, rattle dishes;
talking on the phone with others;
defiantly turn away;
answer out of place.

Keep in mind that such inattention can be offensive, but you don't have to please everyone. Also, we do not advise you to be too sophisticated, because sometimes, in order to get rid of unwanted guests, it is enough to honestly say that they are extremely busy and then they may remember that they have a lot of important things to do.

It's time to clean up and wash the dishes

Some simple tricks for kicking off can work wonders. The vast majority of people come to visit each other to rest, drink and relax. The best way to drive uninvited guests out of the house is to ask them for help with cleaning, washing, and washing dirty dishes. It is unlikely that someone wants to do someone else's household, to put things in order in the apartment.

And if you are not ashamed and offer to clean the toilet bowl clogged up in the toilet, the guest will certainly have an irresistible desire to collect his things as soon as possible and take leave. Although sometimes, of course, rare specimens come across, ready to carry out all assignments, just not to sit at home alone.

In order not to wonder how to drive out the annoying visitor in order, give the most tedious boring work. And if this method did not have the desired effect, make the most of the obsessive helper, or act directly, without ceremony. Roughly escort you out the door, frankly expressing your intention to be alone in the coming days. After all, you have a legal right to privacy.

Get up early in the morning, round off

There is in the Russian language a very expressive and polite word "round off", which has magical power, if it is applied skillfully and at the right moment. It reminds a sitting person of the rules of decency, while in no case does it cause discomfort to anyone present.

So, wait for a pause in the dialogue, then cheerfully and as if nothing had happened, report: - How time flies, and I have to get up early in the morning! Isn't it time, comrades, to wrap up? At the same time, you can look at the clock, shake your head anxiously, offer a goodbye a cup of tea. Believe me, the result will exceed expectations.

Urgent need to go

It happens that the owners, out of politeness, have already let unwanted guests into the house, paid the due attention and even gave them tea, but lovers of gatherings sit and sit on the sofa, not intending to go anywhere. One thought is spinning in my head: how to get them out as soon as possible?

To prevent such an unpleasant outcome, directly state that you have urgent business and only 15 minutes at your disposal. You can even sigh with regret. So you drive out uninvited visitors immediately and painlessly, without claims on their part and damage to your reputation.

Limit get-together time

To send uninvited visitors away long before they begin to bother, it is enough to clearly define the boundaries of what is permitted at the very beginning.

In the evening we start to yawn

A surefire way to hint that guests are late is to portray an irresistible desire to sleep with endless yawns and peeping at the clock. Perhaps the friends were not going to bother, but simply forgot a little about the time.

Distant relatives on the doorstep

Guests who stay up until midnight are not so scary as friends who suddenly decide to make you happy with their long-term visit and live a week or two. Perhaps such an unceremonious disturbance of peace was provoked by some rash actions in the past on your part, so do not get angry ahead of time, leave emotions for later. Explain politely that you are expecting the arrival of distant relatives who are on the way from day to day. Add that they are shy, moody and unpredictable, do not like the presence of strangers. This will change the plans of uninvited guests, and the long-awaited calmness will reign in the house.

No matter how you make a decision, remember that everyone has the right to refuse hospitality, but only in a situation where it is really justified. For example, when it comes to arrogant and unceremonious types, and not close relatives and friends who need your attention and support.

Will you quickly settle down from socializing at a party or receiving guests? Paying attention to the smallest details and having trouble concentrating in a noisy place? Does criticism hurt you too much, but are you always ready for empathy? Highly sensitive people, or "new introverts," as the author of Close to the Heart calls them, is a special psychological type. Such people need a certain strategy of behavior in order to enjoy life and not undermine their strength in vain. Here's what to look out for.

Learn to say no

Being able to refuse is also useful. And if until you have mastered this skill, it's time to learn - otherwise you will constantly suffer from overload. Among hypersensitive people, there are very few people who know how to refuse. This is partly to blame for our emotional threshold: what seems like a trifle to less sensitive individuals turns into a real problem for us.

“Every two months I meet with my sparring partner, who lives two hundred kilometers from my house. We only meet at my place - if I had to get into the car every time and drive such a distance, I would be exhausted long before arrival. But she, on the contrary, is resting at the wheel, so it is not a problem for her to come at all. Our training lasts three hours, but I definitely need to take a break, during which we part and rest from each other. Sometimes I hesitate to ask for a break, and my partner does not need a break at all, although on such days she wakes up very early to get to me. Therefore, it begins to seem to me that this is just my whim. If I work without interruption, then I am wasting the last half hour, because by this time I am completely overloaded. "

Lotte, 45 years old

You often face a dilemma: on the one hand, you absolutely do not want to bother others, and on the other hand, you perfectly understand that overstraining can lead to poor health or even illness, and then you will surely become a burden for loved ones.

In situations like this, you might say the following:

I apologize for the impoliteness, but it seems to me that it is time for you to go: I am very tired and simply cannot continue to carry on the conversation properly.
I would love to stay, but I feel that I am starting to get tired, and if I don’t go home now, tomorrow I’ll have a hard time.
It is a pity to interrupt our conversation, but we will certainly continue it the next time we meet. Now I feel that I am starting to get tired.

If you voice this dilemma, everything will fall into place, and others will have the feeling that this decision was made with their consent.

When guests don't want to leave

In our culture, hospitality is highly valued. Until the guests themselves express a desire to go home, the polite host is supposed to treat them with coffee and entertain them with conversations. Most people can enjoy much longer in such a fun company. But not only those who are distinguished by increased sensitivity. Some hypersensitive individuals generally try not to invite guests for fear that they will sit up and completely exhaust the host.

For a year now, I have been successfully practicing the following procedure: the invitees and I agree in advance how long they will stay with me. Those who know me well know about my increased fatigue, therefore, if they come for a long time, from time to time we disperse to different rooms so that I have time to rest a little. The main thing is to take courage, admitting to your guests that you are very tired, and explain that you like to communicate, but you have to limit the time of communication.

How to reduce the number of visual and sound impressions

Irritants are external and internal. Hyperstimulation can be caused by your own thoughts or dreams, but I would like to start with the type of heightened reaction that occurs as a result of external influences.

Eighty percent of impressions are visual impressions, that is, we can get rid of them by simply closing our eyes. Try to close your eyes several times a day, thus stopping the flow of visual sensations. If you can't sit with your eyes closed for a long time, find some immovable object and look at it. For example, you can do this if you are on public transport or in front of the TV surrounded by other people. The amount of visual experience can be limited by wearing sunglasses or a hat, or by using a large open umbrella.

Earplugs or headphones with your favorite music are a great way to cope with the flow of your audio experience. Personally, my smartphone, which I always carry with me, helps me a lot to deal with extraneous, annoying noises. If someone nearby suddenly starts talking loudly on a mobile phone, I immediately turn on the music and fenced myself off from external stimuli.

Before the lecture, I also listen to music for five minutes - this allows me to completely disconnect and gain inner strength. One day I forgot my headphones at home, and that day I really realized how much music helps me. While giving a lecture, I could not really concentrate: every now and then scraps of phrases that I had heard before the beginning of classes were coming into my head.

"I never thought about it before, but now that I started using sunglasses and headphones, I can walk the streets for several hours and I get much less tired than before."

Hans, 33

Sleep and other ways to recover

In a situation of overexcitation - and this happens quite often - most of all you want to crawl under the covers and fall asleep. Therefore, you run the risk of spending much more time under the covers than you need to. Sleep is a useful activity, but only if it is used to treat sleep deprivation. But they definitely cannot cure hyperstimulation. On the contrary, sleep can tire you even more - for example, if you dream often.

Many hypersensitive individuals complain that if they go to bed in a state of overexcitation, they do not sleep well. Try to find inner peace before you crawl under the covers.

“Almost every night before I go to bed, I draw or write a little. In this way, I manage to make my thoughts clearer. And thanks to this, I sleep much better. "

Rita, 70 years old

The time it takes to recover from stress and get rid of fatigue is what I call vegetative time. It by no means presupposes complete inaction, the main thing is to draw attention inward, as far as possible to protect oneself from external impressions and to direct all forces precisely to order the impressions already received. This time can be spent performing some kind of mechanical action - for example, washing dishes or walking. At such moments, the brain performs colossal work, thanks to which strength is restored quite quickly.

While sleeping too long is a waste of time, it never hurts to take a nap. If you sleep for more than half an hour, sleep becomes deep, and in the daytime it will not bring much benefit. When you wake up, you may feel overwhelmed and sleepy for the rest of the day. Therefore, if you decide to take a nap during the day, do not forget to set your alarm.

Water, movement and touch

Many hypersensitive people find water extraordinarily attractive and has a wonderful effect on them. Moreover, this does not depend at all on the type and volume of the water substance: it can be in the glass from which we drink, in the lake around which we walk, in the bathtub where we lie, or in the pool where we come to swim. Personally, I do a foot bath almost daily - my feet just love it. After steaming my feet well, I rub them with cosmetic oil. This procedure helps you to relax, and if you do it before bedtime, you will sleep soundly and serenely.

Contact with your body can be established in a variety of ways. Some run in the morning, others do dancing or yoga. Exercises have a particularly beneficial effect, the purpose of which is to restore harmony between body and breath.

“If I am too tired to communicate and external impressions become a burden to me, I find joy in movement, and I train right at home. Firstly, it allows you to better know your own body, and secondly, I am not wasting my time, well, and thirdly, I have already managed to pump up excellent biceps! ".

How to admit your own hypersensitivity to others

"Who should you tell about your hypersensitivity?" - I am often asked at lectures and seminars. Personally, I am convinced that it is necessary, first of all, for your loved ones to know about your hypersensitivity. Some admit this to their work colleagues. Judging by the reviews of the majority, having learned about such a feature of a subordinate, the bosses begin to show concern and provide various kinds of support. However, some argue that colleagues do not take such confessions seriously, considering these people inferior or suspecting them of pretending in order to push their part of the work onto others.

I myself rarely call myself hypersensitive. Usually I talk about things that I can't do without, what I'm especially good at and what I'm completely incapable of. Telling everyone that you owe your talents to your own hypersensitivity is not at all necessary. The main thing is to remember this yourself and always take into account the fact that all people are different.

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Discussion

Comment on the article "Tired of socializing? How to escort guests - and 4 more tips"

Tired of socializing? How to escort guests - and 4 more tips. Learn to Say No When Guests Don't Want to Leave Learn to say no. Being able to refuse is also useful. And if while you are ...

Discussion

It depends on whom. At the age of 16, I could not tell every outside adult. Now even my parents have learned.

To me this question seems like a teenager.
In what cases is it supposed to say the very "no" that had to be learned?

13.01.2019 11:20:20, p.pevchaya

They stop communicating without explanation. Girlfriends, friends. About her, about the girl's. Discussion of questions about a woman's life in the family, at work, relationships with men. Later it turned out that she left home, from her husband and son, began to be homeless and drink.

Discussion

So that there is no direct "light in the window". But, I already wrote once here, I had an old friend, since childhood, who one day, for no apparent reason, put my phone on her "black list" (I did not immediately understand why I suddenly could not see her call, people explained about the "black list") and stopped communicating. Later it turned out that she left home, from her husband and son, began to be homeless and drink. A prosperous "home" girl, a music school, an English special school, a red diploma at the institute ...

The light in the window is my husband and children.
Yes, there was such a situation with a friend. Doesn't reply on social networks, although he added it to his friends. It's a little sad, but I'm not going to make a tragedy out of this. all the more I'm not going to "cope" with it.

Pretend that your spouse did not say anything to you, ask the guest "how are you, how was the day, listen, maybe tomorrow we will arrange a farewell." ... Listen, what an impudence ...

Discussion

In one story of A. Chekhov, the landowner stayed out, as you did, with another landowner, all the while scolding his wife and family. When the owner, tired of him, asked for a loan, he immediately moved out. I applied it: I found out that one couple was going to visit, called him and asked for a loan of 15 thousand. Those did not come. Try it. The classics teach. Gabriel

26.05.2018 21:53:14, [email protected]

I had such a case. Came (an old friend of her husband) without an invitation. I thought for a day or two, anything can happen, we are people too. I lived for two or three weeks, I don't remember. I fed, watered, cleaned and crossed myself when I moved out. Time passes and appears again. Moreover, in the very first conversation she talks about plans for the future - to come with my family for the next year I could not stand it! She reported that there are many hotels in Moscow and other places of temporary residence for guests of the capital. She fed me from the road and escorted me out the door, blessing. After a while, it appears again. But I already hung the chain on the door. and did not let him into the apartment. We then lived in a communal apartment, without hot water and in one room. Love yourself and your loved ones.

05/25/2018 09:16:50, St. Petersburg

You have been invited to visit. For a long time. It is not better to politely refuse right away. We grab onto all household chores in order to be able to reproach our relatives: "You see how it should be done!" Section: Fathers and Sons (how to politely refuse a distant relative to visit).

05/15/2018 16:31:54, Just everything

We are also moving from Siberia to the south for permanent residence, we have not even left yet, and my husband's relatives and his friends are already in line! (((So the post is relevant! (My relatives, more tactful and educated people and even nirazu did not hint at this topic))))

05/15/2018 16:22:04, Olga Olgina

To read the poems of Kharms to the guest: I have a guest, There is a nail in his head. It was I who hammered him, So that the guest does not As my eldest son joked: farewell in English is to leave slowly without attracting for a hundred years I know another version - "the British leave without saying goodbye, the Jews say goodbye ...

Stop thinking about his second life, about his wife - what do you care? If he suits you this way, stop lying to yourself and live happily with him. At first I felt sorry for her, indeed, to live for many years with a man and to find out that he no longer wants to live with you.

Discussion

Roll a statement to the police about the persecution. It helps.

02/13/2014 10:34:04 AM, switch

change number?

But in general, to reach the stage of "close communication", to know that a man has children with whom he closely communicates - and not to find out whether he is married, or a widower, etc. - just sur.

How did you imagine, where did he get his children, who do they live with and how does everything work in general?)

With strangers - I just get away from communication, I stopped talking to my own. The situation is horror - horror, everyone in the family, except me, communicates with him, and stop self-criticism, your family relations have developed the way they did. What to do if your son is divorced

Discussion

I had a conflict with my father in July, I told him everything I wanted, though in a letter, a very serious conflict related not only to the moral, but also to the material side. he still does not communicate with me. but I don’t regret it, it’s easier for me that I told him the truth, even though, I repeat, even in writing. Therefore, in order not to cry after the phone calls, I propose to openly tell him next time: I don’t stop hearing about your adopted daughter, why are you not interested in me and your grandson as much as she is. and see the reaction. the fact that you will not cry on this day - I guarantee.

Is your dad still healthy and strong? So tell him everything that has boiled over to him. Painted with a prologue and epilogue. Until it's not too late.

And stop waiting for his sincere approval. You will not wait.

Tired of socializing? How to escort guests - and 4 more tips. I usually do not wait, after all, there are guests, well, or maybe it is customary in our family, we cook everything ourselves, clean it, and even think so, it is not particularly convenient for guests to do something in someone else's apartment, you never know. ..

what is the right way to refuse guests? Friends, guests. Family relationships. to make comments and calm down only at my house is useless, as you understand. Almost all my friends dropped out of the social circle for several years when they gave birth, then they began to communicate again.

Discussion

So say: oh, the child's teeth are teething, very restless, let's go next time. And everything is polite, humanly. They will understand. They themselves have small children. but they will not understand - their problems

08/02/2013 14:11:37, AngryBeber

We can meet there and there, in a cafe by the metro. Then we have plans.
In general, I do not understand these fiddling with babies.

Advice is needed about him, and in general about all situations in life that will be. I am a rather gentle person and in some way always doubting, for example, my will is not strongly expressed in me - I have a will Tired of communicating? How to escort guests - and 4 more tips.

Discussion

I don’t want to today.

"I don't invite M for tea after the first meeting."
"It's not in my principles to invite men home after the first date or go to them."
"I don't think we know each other enough."
____
My personal vision is that he specifically hints to you about sekas, what kind of tea is there)). He is active - and you actively and clearly articulate your thoughts. If he dodges a date or does not call again after him under such conditions, everything will be clear with him.

Tired of socializing? How to escort guests - and 4 more tips. Breeding them is not a decision you need to leave there is no place for you and give the child to the mother. 04/14/2017 19:28:24, Not an acquaintance. Probably he also feels the burden of these guests, but since they are his "friends" he cannot himself ...

Discussion

Do you have many poor and uncultured (they themselves do not bring anything to visit) relatives and acquaintances? This is not the first time you feed them? They never said "by chance" at the table as now everything is expensive and how much did you personally spend on the table, how much effort was there ?! And I had to complain. So as not to be impudent.

no, just tell me that since there are many of you, and I am alone, you will help me with cooking, but better cook tit yourself, and I will decorate the house

Section: A serious question (the son left the family and stopped communicating). The son left home. What to do, I can’t find a place for him in February will be 18, he’s gone, say that we consider him small, we don’t let him walk for a long time, etc., etc., he doesn’t make contact ...

Discussion

To relax. Now the holidays will end - everyday life will go with its tedious life :)) So enjoy communication with Masha, wait for the development of events. But at the same time, realize that the boy has grown up - it's time to let him live his life. Mine, at the age of 13, faded to the Cossack corps for New Year's celebrations. It was a pity, of course, to let go ... Yes, even on December 30 ... But "Mom, you know, I really need this" and where will you trample?

There is no one recipe.
But, in any case, the parents either need to put up with the life of their son separately from them (in the end, not this, so another family will be glad to "feed and drink", if their daughters are so shot at the dawn; also given a job to find, possibly, along with living), - or to humble your authoritarianism and change the tone. For example, you can talk about the dangers of returning home late, - if the area is especially criminal, you can - about the need to spend time studying, but you can’t - in your style, "we don’t let you go for a walk," all the more so, to decide for him "I think to send him to the army": if he wants, he will go himself, if he does not want to, if he has the right to defer, they will WHILE to study. If it is not clear, imagine that you have your mother alive, who, word for word to YOU and NOW, repeats what you say to your son. Just honestly, do not pamper yourself with the difference of positions - (he is studying, you are working - so he left so that he does not depend on you), experience (the offense of words does not depend on it and any person only wants to be respected) Iya to myself), something else. - If it’s a shame to hear something like that -YOU in YOUR address, it’s a shame, and son-y. Think and check on this "tuning fork".
I would not force the situation either: - the son has left and is waiting for the development of events. If the family, where he went, is ready to keep him for a long time, none of your speeches will return him n-azad FAST. If it does not work out there for a long time, then all the same, he will return SOON. Whether it is over-olgo is a different question. Therefore, do not get it: do not call for a couple of weeks, if the first step is his-o - prognostically this is better and the compromise will turn out to be "cheaper" for mom, in general, the more often mom calls, the more interesting it is not to return home son. W-therefore: "Come back, I will forgive everything" - - is also not an ideal position.
For the future, it is easier not to bring it to the ear than to return it. Those. it is necessary to make concessions a little earlier than the situation becomes explosive, it is also desirable to feel this ripening explosion, and not to let it drift, y-ek: "Where are you going?" Read the confa about the elderly family members, what they write there (more often the ladies) about their control by mothers and fathers and the intolerance of living together. There they always write about the weak, there are topics about the workers ... when -

Tired of socializing? How to escort guests - and 4 more tips. No, most likely it was an instruction on what to do, where to turn, who to call, who to say what, where to get money in case of his death. And until now (they have not signed yet) she behaves this way.

Discussion

Make a living agreement with your friend in a simple handwritten form. Something like that:

CONTRACT
"___" _________ 200__
A citizen of the Russian Federation ______________________________-__________________ (passport series _______________ No. _________, issued by __________________________, ___________________ registered at ______________________________-_), hereinafter referred to as "Apartment owner", on the one hand, and a citizen of the Russian Federation ______________________________-____________________________ (p-asport series _____________ issued by _____________ _________________________
______________________________-_______________, registered at ______________________________-_____________), hereinafter referred to as "Tenant", on the other hand, have entered into this agreement as follows:
Subject of the contract
1. Under this agreement, the Apartment Owner provides the Tenant with the opportunity to temporarily use and live in an apartment owned by the Owner of the apartment located at: ______________________________-____________. The tenant undertakes to return the specified Premises upon the expiration of this agreement in the condition in which he received it.
2. The owner of the apartment bears the cost of maintaining the apartment (rent paid to the housing office, including utilities per apartment area).
3. The tenant bears the costs of utilities per person, electricity use (at the time of check-in, the meter reading is _______________), cable TV and other additional services that he will use.
4. The tenant is responsible for harm caused to a third party as a result of using the apartment.
5. Each of the Parties has the right to withdraw from this agreement at any time, notifying the other Party about it one month before the termination of the agreement.

Apartment owner _____________________ / __________________ /
Tenant ______________________ / __________________ /

This will be a kind of reason for your friend to be in the apartment if (suddenly!) Someone comes to check her there. You do not receive income under this agreement. And she has the right to be there.

This agreement does not need to be shown to the senior at the entrance - she is NOBODY. This agreement must be shown to the policeman if he asks what your girlfriend is doing in your apartment without you.
For all appeals of the "senior at the entrance" to you, respond with the requirement to provide you with documents confirming her legal authority for this appeal.

Get out of the room, the husband demonstratively grabs his head, "oh, guys, you have to get out, there is such a friend, such a friend ... Vasya, let's go to you for a walk." Calls a taxi, starts getting dressed, you don't let him in at the last second, when all the guests are outside the door, and he, like, hesitated.

Because it became absolutely impossible to communicate with him. : - (Why can't we all just live in peace? And at the same time, asking for a visit, warn that you are just going to drink tea with your cake, that you do not need to lay a self-assembled tablecloth in front of you

Discussion

I have such a mother-in-law-echidna is called, at first I even changed my makeup because of her, in me with her help the qualities of all the most disgusting animals were found. It lasted three years, there is something to remember.
Start up and let the children enjoy the company in full, leave without lunch, but with food, before leaving, load the washing machine, leaving to say: "Well, for you all this just to spit", having come to complain about the mess formed from her presence, but cute, like "only in the morning tidied up for you, and already such a mess. "
To nagging about order to parry "When I'm OLD, I'll also learn", and about clothes and style, "He doesn't like the old lady's fashion", and I finally finished these quivering words about nightcakes by saying that my mother always had enough intelligence and money to buy them in good bakeries, and cakes like "manniks" I will not foul. For 8 years the mother-in-law is almost silk.

If the problem is that you are afraid of infection, then IMHO 10 thousand times: I do not approve of this behavior. It is very similar to the fairy tale "Wise Martha (I think Martha)", in which a girl found an ax sticking out of the wall in the underground, and suffered for a long time that when her son was born and he had a wedding, he would go underground for something- something, and the ax will fall on him.
What is the problem: warn you that you will not let the sick on the doorstep, and make sure that your hands are washed when they come. Do you go outside with your child? And to the clinic? And never stopped by the store with a stroller? Why do you think that there are fewer microbes there than the guests will bring?

But if you do not want to communicate with your husband's relatives, then this is a completely different matter. In this situation, you can come up with any plausible pretexts :-)

Tired of socializing? How to escort guests - and 4 more tips. Some hypersensitive individuals generally try not to invite guests for fear that they will sit up and completely exhaust the host. To those who know me well ...

Discussion

In your situation, the only thing I would not do in any case is to cook dinner for 4. It was hot for them to meet, for God's sake, with their grubs, you can warm them up in the microwave .. and I would go to sleep when I need to, and not when the guests sit there, tk. dream is sacred to me :) Do not be offended, just talk and explain to your husband how everything looks from your "bell tower", not all people are "flexible" and capable of dramatically changing their plans, by the way, I consider myself to be more flexible, I am calm about surprises, but only pleasant ones :) but "flexibility" also has its limits ..

Probably he also feels the burden of these guests, but since they are his "friends", he cannot force himself to expel them, he feels "not entitled" as long as they are "homeless".
Or maybe collect their things and put them on the stairs, take the keys from them?

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